first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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