My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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