Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
