Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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