White coat. Heels.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
