Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
