he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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