i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
