if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
