one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize