two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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