She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize