Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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