and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
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Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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