Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
