oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
