I'm lost and stupid without you.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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