he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
