I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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