he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
