So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
