I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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