Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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