I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
