we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
