If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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