I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
