He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
