So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
