I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
