hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what day is it and did you see me today?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
