guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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