I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
