My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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