from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize