Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
