using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
