I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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