I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
