Sry I called you an 8
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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