I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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