Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
