YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
