i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
