I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
