$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
