OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
