She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You are the jesus of drinking
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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