Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
