tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
