I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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