come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
