She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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